One big family

24 February , 2010. Denise Ferguson

September 11, 2001 I woke up from a night's sleep to find my flatmate watching telly.  As I pondered why he was watching tv first thing in the morning, the look on his face said a thousand words... "Today is different”. I sat down and watched in horror as the Second Tower of the World Trade Centre fell. That afternoon both my mother and father called and said “Get out of the country and come home”. I stayed in the United States, and I learned about community. To find community in another country is a beautiful experience. To arrive home after several years and feel like a stranger is another experience. To regain that feeling of belonging in the place you were born is the best experience of all. The human species is our family, as is our world, continent, country, city, neighbourhood, community, and friends. We take pride in the virtue of those closest to us and we compete with those further afield. The further I have been, the more I have learned that I am a part of a giant whole and I delight more in the achievements of my family, human kind.

Status vs Authenticity

4 February , 2010. Denise Ferguson

I’m reading a good book at the moment. It discusses the inherent desire in us as humans to succeed versus simply being happy, (also in our DNA). It poses the questions, ‘What is success?’ and ‘How much does success depend upon our happiness?’ The book suggests that we place our value upon the value of our closest peers in a jostle for status in society and we place our joy on whether or not we are admired by our peers, thus creating a “Status Anxiety”.

Last Friday I went to see Nine at the movies. The female characters in the movie represented different female archetypes and highlighted each woman in her individuality and authenticity. The women were not perfect, necessarily admirable or even happy, but their authenticity made them beautiful, interesting and worthwhile nevertheless.

I am often tempted to dissect my flaws and use them as canvases to better myself. One may think it could pave a path of success and happiness, or perhaps it could become quite exhausting and depressing. Is it possible for our worth to be dependent on our virtues rather than our status? Can we be happy because we are living a life of authentic mistake making and discovery, rather than gaining the approval of society?

Since the book, and the movie, I can humbly accept myself flaws and all and realise my success in finding my authentic, imperfect and individual self. I now believe even more that to find success and happiness is to live your best, authentic life. I also believe that we can be beautiful and worthwhile human beings because of our flaws rather than in spite of them. What a relief.