Who is Innocent until Proven Guilty

20 July , 2010. Denise Ferguson

Four years ago I was groped in a yoga class by my teacher. It was so awful and confusing that I was quite shaken up afterwards. Since then, one of the friends I told became a police officer and co-incidentally (if you believe in co-incidents) ended up on a case where sexual misconduct charges were pressed against the same teacher. I was asked to write an official statement. Three more women came forward and the man was arrested. More women have come forward since and several misdemeanour and felony charges have been placed against him. Two years later (a couple of weeks ago) I was asked to testify against him in court. I have kept up to date with the case, and last week I read an online blog about it. The opinion in many comments on the blog was that the teacher was an amazing person, an extremely good yoga instructor and that the women involved were ‘liars’ who ‘obviously wanted some money out of the case’. It was noted that we had all left town since our respective encounters with the man (as if that is a good argument towards his innocence?). One of the writers said that until anyone knew the facts then he should not be judged. He was very close to his wife, which was another reason that he ‘couldn’t possibly’ be guilty. Another comment (incredulously) was that he fixed a woman’s husband's back and it was a damn shame he had to leave town because of the accusations.

It made me angry. The writer who was choosing to ‘not judge’ until she ‘knew the facts’ did not know the facts, however was the same person who called me (among others) a liar who is after money. I do know some facts, because one of the incidents directly involved me. I am not lying and I don’t want, will not get, nor have I expected any money out of this case. I have agreed to support charges pressed by another woman who went through what I went through and that is the only reason that I am involved. This man decided he had the right to feel me up for 90 minutes in a room full of people doing yoga. He did it in a very calculated and devious way so that in my shock, confusion and utter disbelief I felt too uncomfortable to speak up, or embarrassed to get up and leave. The longer I remained silent, the bolder he became. Before this incident, I had also thought he was a great yoga teacher however once he knew I was due to leave the country (I had told him right before class), he violated my trust. I also knew his wife, who I agree is a great yoga teacher and woman. I know they are very close, they worked at the same studio and that was one of the first things that confused me as he pressed ‘himself’ into my back. I do not agree with his statement in court that during adjustments, parts of the body are touched and that is the nature of yoga teaching. I have given hundreds, if not thousands of adjustments, and I’ve never done to anyone what he did to me. Perhaps I’m just better at giving adjustments than him? I think not. Adjustments can get quite intimate, but it is at the teacher's discretion to decide whether it is appropriate.  Private parts should never be touched, 'adjustments' under clothing do not exist and if you feel uncomfortable then the teacher is out of line.

I agree that one should not condemn another if you do not know the facts. I do not agree however, in supporting someone who has been accused of something, and condemning the accuser if you do not know the facts either. The woman who commented on the blog, was the exact type of person I chose to avoid in making the decision to leave the incident behind. With the reputation the man had, I did not believe that I could fight that battle from New Zealand, and I was not sure if anyone would believe me. Thank goodness another woman took on the responsibility I was too afraid to take, so that Steven Roger cannot continue to do this. I support this case wholeheartedly and I plead with you to not judge anyone who takes a stand for something whether you believe them or not. It is possible to take neither side when you do not have an answer. To choose innocent until proven guilty, does not mean condemn the accuser. It means do not take an opinion unless you know the facts.

My Ahimsa

5 July , 2010. Denise Ferguson

At last, I am taking the final step towards becoming vegetarian by weaning out fish and seafood. Arrrgh. I’ll miss it. Salmon is a staple in my diet, and whenever I eat out, the comments on how I always order prawns or calamari are rife. My father would turn in his grave if he knew I’d be saying no to snapper from now on. In my late teens I began to cut out chicken until by my 20’s I was chicken free. Next, as I practiced yoga more and more I phased out red meat until I was Pesco Vegetarian (veggie who still eats seafood). Then I picked up the book, ‘Eating Animals’. Now my fish eating days are numbered. I never ever intended to take the plunge and my entire family (including my giant extended family) are staunch fish-eaters. They don’t mind if I don’t eat steak however and even though I haven’t eaten cow for some time, I own and wear a beautiful leather jacket. I put it on Trade-me once, citing that it was a very expensive leather jacket that my ex-boyfriend had bought me. Therefore it was going very cheap. One of my meat-eating friends told me to get the jacket off Trade-me right away as selling such a divine item of clothing was simply wrong. I withdrew the sale, continued to wear the jacket, and continued to not eat meat. My argument? Better to have the hide on my back, than the flesh in my body. Not the grandest of arguments, rather a fairly self-fulfilling one.

It is contradictions like the former that put a wedge between veggies and meat-eaters. Mention that you don’t eat meat and you are likely to have a flaw in your case for vegetarianism highlighted, such as me wearing my leather jacket (unless you’re my style-conscious friend). Or perhaps you’ve eaten meat in front of the condescending sideways glance of a veggie, instantly feeling like you are on trial. My choices on not eating meat go like this: I don’t want to ingest the pain, fear or energy of death because I believe that I am what I eat, I do not agree with the breeding, living, farming and ‘destroying’ conditions of the animals that are produced as food, I do not want to support those industries in any way and the effects on animal production (and recently learned fish cultivation) on the environment are not good. I do however, respect that this is a personal choice for me, and when I slip up and do not do everything 100% perfect, I realise that I am still moving forward in a positive direction.

When we choose to make a stand for something that we believe in, we mustn’t scorn others for not jumping on our bandwagons. My friend ‘Camp Mother’ is very environmentally aware, however she still chooses to eat meat and that’s okay with me. Our other friend J-Lo Bootie has been total veggie for about ten years, and she’s never judged me for eating her beloved friends from the sea. We also mustn’t judge ourselves if we do not adhere to our stance 100% perfectly 100% of the time. Any Greenie or Veggie will tell you that it took (probably) years of slowly cultivating and changing a lifestyle. When it comes to yoga, vegetarianism usually stems from Ahimsa, the act of Non Harming. Whichever way you choose to practice this is up to you. It is your yoga off the mat.